“Follow no authority but your own inner voice”. “Trust your own perception above anything else”. “All the wisdom you need is already within you”.

If you’ve spent any time in spiritually-minded self-help communities, you’ve likely heard these sayings in some form or another. You’ve also likely seen an uptick in their use during COVID, perhaps with political leanings thrown in and talk of resisting being “controlled” – by governments, by health officials, or any other outside force.

The spiritual self-help crowd seems to have crafted its own brand of rugged individualism…a kind of “enlightened individualism” that is often described as being “sovereign”. This sovereignty often goes hand in hand with the idea of always trusting your inner voice, and tends to focus on personal choice and freedoms over collective responsibility.

I definitely understand why this concept is so alluring. So many of the people I meet and work with that are drawn to the world of new-agey self-help are women, and I think this is important: women have a long history of being conditioned to mistrust themselves and their bodies (add extra shitty conditioning points here if you’re anything other than cis, white, and able-bodied). When we come to see that our bodies carry wisdom for us, that our perceptions are valid, and that we CAN trust ourselves, it’s revolutionary and life-affirming. After experiencing so much denigration and being told so many lies, feeling like our own perceptions have value is a game-changer. 

It’s not so helpful, though, when we take this to an extreme and start to create a rigid binary – and that’s what I see happening more and more. Cutting away context and nuance creates an either/or scenario: you’re either a “sovereign individual” who decides things for yourself or a gullible “sheeple” follower who does whatever you’re told. And of course, this comes with the implicit hierarchy in all binaries – being sovereign is positioned as “good”; being a follower is “bad”. Being sovereign is brave; being a follower is “living in fear”, etc.

But these things aren’t actually opposites, and one isn’t inherently better than the other. We’re all a mixture of both depending on the circumstance – we’re not self-contained islands whose decisions only impact ourselves. Not only is this whole thing a false dichotomy, it also erases the truth of our interconnectedness as humans.

We’re a communal species. No one can know or do everything all alone. Other people’s perspectives enrich us, and no single person is capable of understanding everything by themselves (no, not even “intuitively”). 

On some level I think we fall into this pattern because if we’ve been taught to doubt ourselves and were lied to and manipulated by others, trusting JUST our perception feels like a good way to protect ourselves. If others harmed us, we can just have our own backs and never be hurt again. That sounds great in theory… but your own mind and emotions are just as capable of misleading you and harming you as anyone else (I wrote about this here, or you can ask anyone else with mental health issues if you don’t believe me!)

Personally, I’ve had my understandings, perceptions, and sometimes my whole worldview shifted or overturned by things I learned from others. I’ve spent a lot of time immersed in other cultures, and would not be even remotely the same person had I not done that. Books have changed me. Kids I work with have changed me. People I love change me. There have been many times when my own perception of something or even of myself (hi, depression!) has been deeply skewed and distorted, and the wisdom of others is what brought me back to earth. Outside perspectives or directives aren’t always a threat to our autonomy – sometimes they’re precisely what ground us and bring us back to centre.

Keep room for complexity in anything you adhere to, and be wary of toxic individualism masquerading as empowerment. We’re usually better served by both/and than either/or – you don’t have to limit yourself by contorting to fit a false binary.

Be the ultimate authority in your life AND accept that you have a limited perspective that is expanded by the wisdom of others. Have your own back AND acknowledge that we’re interdependent and need each other. Make your own choices AND be accountable for the weight of those choices on the web that connects us all.